Suicide is often difficult to understand and talk about. Yet at times, it’s necessary. It’s the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, claiming more than 44,000 lives each year, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
“It’s unlike any other death,” said Suzanne Vogel. “People are afraid to talk about it, which makes healing hard.
Saturday marks International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, an opportunity for family and friends of suicide victims to find comfort in the wake of such tragedy. Vogel organized a local program at Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center to complement events taking place around the world.
Vogel lost her brother to suicide on March 25, 2014. Following six devastating months of grief and guilt, she found the Williamsburg Survivors of Suicide Loss support group.
“That changed my grieving process like no other,” she said. “The group taught me how to heal and how to move on and how to get rid of the guilt.”
Charlotte Moyler suffered similar turmoil when her 17-year-old daughter, Maggie, took her life. She, too, found solace in the support group, which she said helped her overcome the stigma of talking about it.
“The sad thing is there’s so many people that have suffered the loss of a suicide,” Moyler said. “But they just don’t want to talk about it. It’s just heartbreaking because they’re so ashamed.”
The Loss Day program will begin with people introducing themselves, if they feel up to it. A screening of an AFSP film, “The Journey,” tackles how different people heal following a suicide. Groups will discuss their experiences and what they took away from the video and then watch a follow-up video. Attendees are encouraged to bring photos of their lost loved ones; the group will go around as participants take turns saying the name of the victim pictured.
“You’re almost afraid to talk about your loved one. You shut down,” Vogel said. “It’s OK to say their name, and it’s OK to love them for how they lived and not how they died.”
Vogel said she was reluctant to attend prior to her first suicide loss event, angry at those who said it would help her heal, but felt better by the end of session.
“The hardest thing is to come and walk through those doors,” she said. “I know it’s hard to get there. But it’s a very welcoming environment.”
Moyler said it’s part of an ongoing effort to build a community of survivors who help each other heal.
“You sit with these other people and there’s such strength,” she said. “I think that’s the thing that helps people heal.”
Want to go?
The International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day program runs from 1-3 p.m. Saturday at Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center, 100 Sentara Circle. For more information, visit bit.ly/2zaRzwd or call 910-546-4534. Free.
