In grief, families of LI's fallen soldiers find support

At vigil for LI's fallen soldiers, loved ones say pain lingers, but find strength from others in mourning

BY CYNTHIA DANIELS | STAFF WRITER

December 31, 2005

A candlelight vigil Friday honoring Long Island military personnel who have died in both Iraq and Afghanistan wasn't fancy - no one sang a solo, political speeches were nil and names weren't called.

Still, 16 Long Islanders were present to make sure their loved ones are kept alive in others' hearts and minds.

"It helps to know that people care," said Jeanin Urbina, 18, whose older brother, Army Spc. Wilfredo F. Urbina, 29, was killed in Iraq last November. "It doesn't matter how long it's been, people still continue to care ... yeah, life goes on, but you can't forget the memory of the fallen."

Inside the Huntington Townhouse on Jericho Turnpike, candles flickered brightly in a dimmed entrance to a small upstairs ballroom adorned with a large American flag.

The short ceremony, followed by lunch, was planned to "bring a little bit of happiness into a sad situation" said Rhona Silver, owner of the Townhouse.

Tears fell as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and nieces quietly remembered not only their fallen but also the latest reported death: Spc. Lance S. Sage, 26, from Lakeview, who was killed Tuesday in Baghdad - the 16th Long Island service fatality.

"My heart broke for that family," said Dorine Kenney, whose only son, Army Spc. Jacob S. Fletcher, 28, was killed in Iraq in November 2003. "For that knock at the door, for that devastation and a shattered family."

The families agreed that pain is constant, but strength is found in events like these.

"Whenever I'm with this group, it's like a support group," said Terri Strippoli, whose brother, Air Force Master Sgt. Michael Maltz, 42, a Wheatley Heights native, died in Afghanistan in March 2003. "Because other people don't want to deal with it."

Her cousin, Michele Vais, said, "It's OK to get emotional here."

For Juliana King, the day brought much emotion. King, of Brentwood, lost her son Pfc. Jose Ruiz, 28, in August when he was hit by small-arms fire from a civilian vehicle during a security operation in Mosul, Iraq.

King said this Christmas was full of memories of her oldest son, who always made it home on the holiday. Last year, King said, her son surprised her on Christmas Day, arriving at her sliding back door when he was supposed to be in Iraq.

Though King had a long list of things to do on Friday - visit her 84-year-old mother in New York Hospital Medical Center of Queens in Flushing, console a friend who had a sudden death in the family and celebrate her son Alexander's 17th birthday - she said the vigil took priority.

"I'm representing him," King said of her son through tears. "If he was here, he would want me to be here. I said, 'I'll go to the ceremony, then take care of everyone else.'"