This just in: The man who gets paid to know is suddenly a know-nothing.
Blame it on the sinister Bowl Championship Series master plot to faucet-drip the suspense until the last Harris pollster is tracked down at a bar singing his college fight song on a tabletop.
The final BCS season, true to its murky form, has turned all of us second-guessers into guessers.
"No matter where you live, you just have to watch it all," Bill Hancock, executive director of the BCS, said this week.
People keep asking me questions and getting the same answer: "Don't know."
It appeared someone kidnapped the real Nick Saban while an impostor misled the Crimson Tide to the most discombobulated performance of the Saban era.
The real Saban doesn't go for it on fourth and two when a chip-shot field goal gives his team a 10-point fourth-quarter lead. He doesn't attempt a 57-yard field goal with one second left in a tie game knowing his kick protection unit is slower than the Clydesdales.
That final horrible decision allowed Auburn's Chris Davis to return the miss kick 109 yards for the winning touchdown.
Never in a million years does the real Nick Saban let that happen.
• Which teams are going to play in the BCS title game?
• What about the rest of the BCS bowl lineup?
Not one of the five BCS bowl games is officially set.
Michigan State, win or lose Saturday against Ohio State, will probably represent the Big Ten. Or it could be Ohio State if the Buckeyes finish undefeated but somehow don't make the BCS title game.