Richard Nixon

Run the good race, with help from my walker

In the words of our late, beloved Richard Milhous Nixon, I say, "Let me make this perfectly clear ..." I am now today casting my hat in the ring, or is that, my ring in the hat? Whatever, you are right this minute reading this here and not having to wait for the 6 o'clock news.

My fellow Americans, I in this time of great social and political unrest the moment has arrived when the citizens of this great nation should have a teeny weeny bit more of a choice of candidates than what has been presented to us so far. It seems that one -- not naming any names, mind you -- is blustery and says way too much, and the other candidate -- again, not naming any names (cough, cough)...