So, A-List entertainers don't want to perform at the Trump inauguration. Most of the Rockettes won't even lift a leg for him. But since Trump is riding a populist wave, karaoke can fill in.
Kellyanne Conway will start off with Lynn Anderson: "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden, Along with the sunshine, There's gotta be a little rain sometimes...."
Vice President Mike Pence ("You've whipped out that Mexican thing again") will go with Engelbert Humperdinck: "Prettiest eyes in all of Mexico, please smile at me once before I go, this is just adios and not goodbye."
Tillerson (State) and Pompeo (CIA) will sing with The Righteous Brothers as a paean to Putin: "Are you still mine? I need your love, God speed your love to me." A big-screen image of Vlad on horseback will ride the point home.
Offering the olive branch to Netanyahu on the Palestinians will be Sessions (Justice). He gets Jim Reeves: "Gimme that old time religion, It was good for the Hebrew children, It's good enough for me".
Puzder (Labor) and McMahon (Small Business) will hark back to The Silhouettes: "Yip, yip, yip, mumm, mumm, mumm, Get a job, Sha na na na..." And, presto, the jobs will appear.
The environment will get lip service from Pruitt (EPA) and Zinke (Interior) via The Persuasions: "On the Good Ship Lollipop, it's a sweet trip to the candy shop, where bon-bons play, on the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay." We'll just cross our fingers for the polar bears and Eskimos.
The grand finale will be President Trump and the Mac Davis classic: "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doing the best that I can ... some folks say that I'm egotistical, but I don't even know what that means." Next day he could deny that he ever sang it.