A confession to the board

I’ve liked wine for more than 50 years, going back to my late teens. My condo association needs to know this in considering me for the board. At my age, it could be a lifetime appointment, and some of my advice could be ill-advised, or even biased, depending.

Admittedly, wine has skewed my sensibilities now and then. It’s hard for me to be specific because I did not keep a diary. Not that I would have included anything cringeworthy if I thought it might someday jeopardize my future.

As it is, not many people are around now to say I did anything untoward while drinking wine. The condo board would have to find Doug W. or Ira S. from senior year at college. We had gone into New York City together and drank two bottles of Chianti with our meal in Greenwich Village. What happened afterward is best left to storytellers and Fake News purveyors.

During my 16 years here, I have told condo neighbors that I ended up in Williamsburg because of coming to Newport News with the Navy in the summer of 1970. They are unlikely to hear about the time Johns, Hahn and I drank too much of an awful Virginia wine called Sly Fox. It almost made me seasick on our motor whaleboat the next morning. Of course, neither guy knows of my possible selection for the condo board, so there’s no chance of them saying anything about me and Laura (the waitress). Anyway, that was 48 years ago.

There was also an instance right after the Navy, in Manhattan. I had returned to school and was living in International House, where American and foreign students mingle amicably. Once after a party, a Turkish student, Hulya, sat with me on the balcony and the two of us finished off a bottle of Lancer’s Rosé. Far from the best wine, to be sure, and indeed it brought out the worst in us. But Hulya has long since been back in Turkey. Not even the FBI would be able to find her, or certainly not before the next board meeting.

I will understand perfectly if after this disclosure the board nixes me. They have seen me all these years as an exemplary owner and generally a model of rectitude. They have not known about my wine-dark side. All I can say is, when you like wine, you like everything about it.

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